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Cascadian Free State
Geography and People Welcome to the Cascadian Free State, formerly British Columbia, Washington, Oregon and northern California. The rugged, unused coastline ranges from fjords to beaches where precipitous cliffs rise out of pounding surf. Mountains are visible in the distance--lofty, majestic, covered with snow. Tall, ancient evergreens cover the land between with a mantle of green. Fertile farms spread across the Palouse country and Willamette Valley. Cities, where they exist, are innovative centers of technology and culture, renowned throughout Planet Bob for their happy, industrious citizens. This is the Cascadian Free State, a geographically diverse nation that stretches from northern California through southern Alaska, from the Pacific Ocean to the Rocky Mountains. An important element of its regional character is the nations relative isolation from the rest of North America. Populated sections of the region are separated from the other principal population centers by substantial distances of arid or mountainous terrain. Residents of the region often view this isolation as positive, a geographic buffer against the rest of the world, particularly the United States to the east and south. The chief industries of the CFS include lumber, agriculture, high-tech electronics and computer software, aircraft manufacturing, precious gems, and natural spring water. History After a brief, almost bloodless civil war within the United States of America, the Cascadian Free State (CFS) was officially founded on February 14, 2007. Led by the socialist revolutionary Senhart, mastermind of the failed Guinness Promotional Night Putsch the "People's Army of Cascadia" were a polyglot mixture of Orthodox Leninists, Social Libertarians, Democratic Socialists, and Ninja-Zen Masters. The "People's Army of Cascadia," was able to take over all major population centers in the Pacific Northwest by using a secret mass-brainwashing electro-magnetic pulse generator thingymabob. With the push of a button, a red shiny button, comrade Senhart unleashed instant enlightenment to all who were in reach of this new Autocranialrectalreversalfacilitatomometer. As a new nation, eager to make its mark on Planet Bob, the CFS initially allied with The Rising Sun. Soon thereafter the alliance fell apart. At the end of this turbulent period the CFS entered NATO, where it stayed for two years. They were days of growth, abundance, and camaraderie for the CFS, but they wouldn't last long. The Karma War in the spring of 2009 radicalized the formerly peaceful people of the CFS into bloodthirsty beasts. Fighting against impossible odds, CFS forces managed to send several nations into anarchy before they were contained by member nations of The International and Dark Fist. The conflict forced the CFS to reevaluate its geo-political role on Planet Bob. On May 15, 2009 the iconic figurehead of the CFS, Senhart, gave his famous, "WTF!?," speech on the shores of Lake Chelan, where he stated, "From this day forth, our glorious socialist state will no longer tether herself to alliances simply for economic stability! I mean, really, it's a flippin' game, OK? Have fun with it and join an alliance based on ideology! Sheesh! Are those donuts?" Following his moving words, Senhart unveiled the Solidarity Memorial to honor the fallen heroes of the Cascadian Free State, as well as those from the International who had lost their lives on that very ground. The Cascadian Free State allied itself with the Libertarian Socialist Federation on May 22, 2009 where it remains to this day. The Life and Times of Senhart While little is known of Senhart's early years, he enters modern political memory with a bang in the summer of 2006. Although some of the details are sketchy, after attending a renaissance fair, where they had gone to watch a caber tossing event, Senhart and his ultra-lefty friends went to relax and talk politics at a local public house. The pub, courtesy of Guinness, was having a promotional night, which led to the severe inebriation of all in attendance. After drunkly preaching on the ills of modern society, Senhart led his rag-tag, severely drunk comrades on what would become known as the Guinness Promotional Night Putsch. Under cover of darkness, the newly militant group marched to the State Legislature building in Olympia, Washington, U.S.A., where they planned on mercilessly heckling regional lawmakers. Dressed only in kilts and black masks, the protesters had not taken into account that it was nighttime, and the legislature would not be in session for several more weeks. No targets were present to receive their wrath. According to witnesses of the event, the militants seemed to have no organization or purpose other than to T.P. the government building. The next morning, Senhart and his comrades were arrested where they had fallen asleep on the lawn of the Legislature. The charge, possibly due to the kilts, was public indecency. Although ultimately deemed a failure, the Guinness Promotional Night Putsch managed to make Senhart an iconic figurehead of the socialist movement in the Pacific Northwest. While imprisoned in the Pierce County jail following the failed, Guinness fueled uprising, Senhart wrote Mein Hangover. This seminal document touched the hearts, and awoke the socialist yearning of millions throughout the Pacific Northwest...actually only about 12. One of Senhart's early converts, Dr. Matthius Trotskyistemmeffer, was so inspired by this masterpiece, he vowed to create a machine that would "make people pull their heads out of there butts," and usher in a socialist paradise. He would eventually go on to create the Autocranialrectalreversalfacilitatomometer. The Cascadian Freestate and the Libertarian Socialist Federation Foreign Relations Senhart of the Cascadian Free State holds several diplomatic posts for the LSF. They are as follows: The Socialist Workers Front Jamahiriya The Sasori Initiative Vires Noctu